Failing At Life: A Musing of A Mompreneur

Hey, moms.  Let’s have a heart-to-heart talk about work/life balance.  I am a mom of three boys.  I am a wife.  I am also a lawyer and business owner. I am a friend and sister and work with other groups of individuals that require my time and attention.  This has also made me one other thing: a juggler.  I am constantly juggling multiple responsibilities and tasks in my head or on my desk, and at the same time.

However, no matter how much I accomplish, dropping just one ball can seem like I have failed at life and cause me to question EVERYTHING.  Was I a good mother?  Am I putting my business ahead of my family?  Is this just too much for me?

This happened to me the other day.  My oldest son is 10, and I have tried to shift responsibility to him for his own work.  I do not want to be a helicopter mom and he has to learn to be independent.  I found out about a big project he had by happenstance and wrote it down.  However, it wasn't until the morning it was due, that I remembered the thing and of course, my son had never brought it up or worked on it. 

Mommy guilt is nothing new.  What we don’t always talk about is how that guilt can cause a simple mistake to make you question your whole life, purpose, and professional choices.  Have any of you ever felt this way?

Yeah, we can be more organized.  Yeah, I could have used the family calendar that is on the fridge.  Yeah, I could've given more of the responsibility to my husband instead.  But at the moment, fixing it is not what is important.  When you feel like you have failed your child, missed something simple but important like a doctor’s visit, or lunch money, it can make you spiral into tornado of self-doubt about your abilities to juggle your goals.

So what should you do? Let yourself FEEL IT.  Before you move to fixing your situation, understand WHY you feel this way.  Are you juggling too much?  Do your priorities need adjustment?  Those feelings can be legitimate and cause you to remember that you need to check your priorities and whether your actions are truly in line with those what you say your priorities are.  It can also mean that you need to have systems set up to make sure that you are handling those priorities.  Solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, small business owners, and mompreneurs often work alone and wear several hats.  This means that things will inevitably slip through the cracks.  

You should not feel like you are failing at life when you make a mistake, but if you do, understand that you are not alone.  Dust yourself off,  check your priorities, reorganize, and keep pushing forward.

Alycia KinchloeComment